Father's Day was this past Sunday. I didn't make getting a card for Bryan a priority and as a result he didn't get one this year. Every year when I look for a father's day card for him I don't know if I should get him one that says "DAD" on it or find a different type of card that's generically for any man or a special one for step-dads. He's not my real dad and knowing that I kind of hold off on the 'real dad' cards this time of year. He's an amazing person though. He stepped in as dad to my brothers and I and he really didn't have to. Especially not to the extent that he has. I'm so thankful for him.





























I was struck by the fact that I didn't even think of my real dad at all on Father's Day. He's almost been gone a full year now. Occasionally I'll think of him and wish I could call him but on Father's Day, he just slipped on by and that makes me really sad. I really miss him and wish he was still around for me to wish him a happy father's day even though he rarely calls me or even though he's an alcoholic or even though he never seems to make an effort. He was still my daddy and I still love him. I miss him a lot.

Broken but glued back together

"Man is broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue."
-Eugene O'Neill

I read this in a book recently (Anne Lamott's Traveling Mercies) and it kind of stuck with me. The whole book is about her life and thoughts on faith. I don't remember now what particular story she was sharing or how the quote even ties in but the quote itself stuck out to me.

I was born broken. I was born a sinner. God knows this. I will never be "all together". I will never have it all figured out and be the person with it all figured out and have nothing wrong. But God knows all this. It amazes me how patient God is. He knows I'm a crappy person and I screw up quite frequently and that there's no hope of me ever having it all together. but he's given me his grace to help me out. He knows I live in a broken, impure, imperfect, shattered state of being; and even though there's really no hope of me ever being otherwise, God has provided his grace as glue so that although there will be scars, cracks and other evidence of my faults, I can have the hope of being made new in Christ. All by the grace (and glue) of God.

Glorified in Me

This morning in church we sang a song where the chorus just repeats the phrase "be glorified in me". That phrase really got me thinking. how often is God glorified in what I do, think, or say? Honestly, He isn't often. Actually, God is probably more ashamed of me than he is delighted in me. I want to glorify God through how I live but so often I get side tracked by my earthly desires to do what I want to do, or what "sounded good at the time".

The sermon today was about being good stewards of our money and other resources God has given us. At the end where our pastor challenged us, he asked 4 questions about our attitudes toward our money and how we spend it. His first question was do we think about God when we spend our resources? For me, I translated it to how often do I think about God when I do anything, let alone take care of the resources He's given me. Our pastor went on to say that he was at Hobby Lobby yesterday and bought a picture for their bedroom. He said he never once thought about God as he bought that picture. That may seem insignificant but to me it stuck out. Why would our pastor feel the need to mention that story? Probably to illustrate how he didn't think about God as he was spending the money God gave him. To me, I thought about how even in the smallest things like buying a picture from Hobby Lobby can still be done in such a way that it glorifies God.

I do so many activities, both big and small, where I don't think about God. It's hard to glorify God in my life if I don't have my mind set on Him. I do want God to be glorified in me. I don't think others would pick up on that in my life at the moment though. Something to work on this week.

God and cars

I love the book of James. It's my absolute favorite mainly because it's so practical and straight forward. My favorite verses that I've taken to heart since high school is in James chapter 4. It says "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the Devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you...Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up." (James 4:7-8, & 10) I think the reason I chose this as a primary life verse is because God is telling me as a Christian that as long as I take that first step of faith towards Him, He will meet me there. It's like a 'meet me half way' concept but it's not even half way. As long as I make an effort to go to God, He will meet me where I'm at and help me the rest of the way. It's so great to know that God won't leave me hanging in this crazy life on earth. He's there to help me and guide me along the way. I just have to take that first step and trust that God will be there to catch me.

I was at a Campus Crusades for Christ meeting yesterday where one of the speakers gave a great analogy for this concept. Picture a car. That car represents God. The gas represents the holy spirit and I represent the driver. If I get in the car but don't do anything, I'm not going to go anywhere. Even if I try to step on the gas pedal, without gas in the car the car still won't move. Now I fill the car up with gas. I get back in the car but it still doesn't go anywhere. I have to make the first move. I have to step on the gas pedal and the car will take off and take me to where I need to be. I may know about God and that's all fine and dandy but it's nothing without having the Holy Spirit in my life. But even with knowing Christ and having the Holy Spirit in my life still won't get me any closer to my final destination. I need to make the first move to put me in motion. Once I step on the gas, the car does most of the work. I just have to go with it and trust that it will take me to where I need to go. Once I make that first move with God, all I have to do is trust that He'll get me to where I need to be.

Stealing God's Thunder

I've made a new friend recently who seems like a really cool guy to get to know. He volunteers with me on Mondays and occasionally I'll run into him on campus and we'll have a few minutes to talk before he has to head to class. He's a great Christian guy. I mean really on fire for God and sharing it with all his friends and pretty much everyone else in his path. He's all about witnessing and doing all he can to show God to everyone else. How awesome!!

Recently though, I've been getting kind of frustrated with him. I know about a good majority of his clubs that he's involved in and what he likes and what he believes in but he's yet to ask about me at all. Every time we talk it's always about theology and witnessing and religion and I just wish that sometimes he'd ask about me. I was first going to title this post "too much of a good thing..." because my line of thinking for the majority of the evening has been about how maybe being too focused on witnessing and religion to the point where it bypasses building a good friendship isn't a good thing. But as I have talked it out to a few close friends I've come to realize that all I'm doing in entertaining that line of thought is trying to steal God's thunder. It's not about me. We are two Christians and when we get together, we should be focused on our Creator. Not on each other. His passion to talk about God in every day conversation whenever he can is an awesome trait. Especially on a campus like IU where not everyone is willing to entertain such topics. And so when we as Christians get together, that should be all we talk about. God and his amazing-ness.

God, I'm sorry for being selfish and letting my personal desire for the spotlight attempt to override your rightful place of being the main focus.

Christian favortism?

I just finished reading a book entitled I Sold My Soul on Ebay. It's written by Hemant Mehta, the "friendly atheist". What Mehta did was hold an ebay auction where the highest bidder (bidding on Mehta himself) would be able to tell Mehta where to attend church for a given amount of time. The winner sent Mehta on a journey to visit many different churches and during this journey, Mehta wrote down his thoughts in this book. Basically it's a book about what churches do right and what churches do that put off 'outsiders'. I really enjoyed reading this book and getting the opinion of a nonchristian about how effective or not effective a church, and witnessing in general, is.

A running theme that Mehta comments on continuously is how Christians seem to only favor in helping other Christians...primarily those who are apart of their own congregation. In one section he mentions schools and how some churches put a lot of time and resources into constructing a private school as opposed to putting resources and time into a school already established with low income struggling children. He writes, "I wonder why the churches that have resources and an interest in education can't help out a public school in a part of town where students are struggling...Why do churches tend to create something that is separate and specifically "Christian," rather than pitching in to help improve the work being done at existing schools in the neighborhood?" He concludes this section saying, "The more work churches do for everyone, not just to help Christians but to come to the aid of all needy people, the more respect the church will get from outsiders." Another example aside from the schools is how some businesses advertise that they are a Christian businesses. As I read about this I thought of a bulletin board I pass when I drive back to school in Bloomington after a visit home. It's for a painting business that advertises the Jesus fish indicating it is owned and operated by Christians. That's all fine and dandy but why is it necessary? Is advertising the fact that you are a Christian make yours a better business than this other business over here? Mehta expresses, "The implication to me is that nonChristians are not good enough to do business with. Or maybe the assumption is that Christians are necessarily more skilled..." As such, Mehta views some Christians as taking part in an elitist group partaking in religious exclusivity. It's like a Christian country club. Heaven should be the country club for Christians. We aren't at the club yet. We're on our way but meanwhile we should try to recruit as many friends to sign up as we can.

Another issue he brings up a few times is the use of practicality over not. In the very last chapter of this book, Mehta talks about missions trips and as I read it, I could only nod my head in agreement. He writes, "I've heard church groups talk about having gone to faraway countres, and the accomplishment they seem to be proudest of was the building of a church in the area they visited. This isn't to say they didn't also bring food, vaccines, and other useful items to the people they were helping, but the newly built church seemed to be what they wanted everyone to know about. My response is that a church building by itself won't help anyone--it's what the people of the church do that makes a difference. By the same token, many churches boasted about their rate of planting new churches. However, starting a new church is nothing to be proud of--not unless that church is working to improve and serve it's community, including all the people who live there. In situations where Christians limit their help to other Christians, the church seems to be more a religious club than a true ministry to others."

Now let me clarify in saying that there is definitely something to say about the sole fellowship of being with other Christians that one gets in a church service. However, on the other hand, if one of the church's goal is to reach the outside, shouldn't it strive to be accommodating to those we're trying to reach? Building churches in countries that don't have them is great but for those who are starving and dying from diseases won't care about the new building up the road from their village unless the people in that new building has practical ways to show what that new building is actually for. James 2:15-17 says, "Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, 'Go. I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing bout his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action is dead". Whether they are a brother or not, if someone is cold and hungry they'll care more about how you care for them and provide for them than they will about what you say alone.

Mehta uses another example. Handing out Bibles is a very good thing to do. One of the churches did this to everyone living in a certian zip code on the south side of Chicago. Mehta argues though that "a book teaching children how to improve their study skills would have helped the children with their education much more than a Bible could." I both agree and disagree with this comment but his main point is a valid one. Showing Christ to someone or to a community isn't just building church buildings or trying to shove a Bible into someone's hand. It's about providing practical services such as serving meals or providing free handiwork or other services to show that we as Christians care for everyone, not just our own in-group of fellow Christians. Jesus didn't hang out at the synagogue all the time. He was spending time with those people who were kicked out and shunned by the religious people.

I've heard a saying that went something like "People won't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Basically why would anyone want to hear what you have to say to them if they're turned off by your actions (or lack there of) towards them. If a Christian seems snobbish and has an "holier than thou" attitude they are less likely to get a nonbeliever to listen to them with an open mind than someone who got to know the person they are trying to reach. Maybe took them out to lunch or did some other random act of kindness without expecting pay back. Coming from an atheist: "If you want to get through to nonreligious people, you need to first understand where they are coming from." I'm a believer of building relationships with my "target people", or those I want to try to lead to Christ. Once a friendship is established and I've demonstrated that I want to be their friend and know them as a person and not just regard them as an "outsider" in an 'Us verses Them' conflict, then they would probably be more likely to hear what I have to say about Christ.

I Sold my Soul on Ebay is definitely a good book to read over such topics concerning the church, Christians and their attitudes and behaviors. Want to know what you as a Christian look like to someone who doesn't believe what you do? Read what the friendly atheist has to say. He even gives advice.

Prayer

A friend was visiting this weekend and stayed with my roommate and I. One of the free nights we had, her and I decided to walk around a nearby park and enjoy the extremely nice weather. She started telling me a little more about her personal story and life as of the past couple of years and one thing that she said stuck out to me. She's like "I believe in specific prayer." When she first said that I was like uh, ok. But then she went into more detail and started telling me about how she prayed for specific things that she wanted in a home church and community (that she was currently without at the time) and amazingly enough God answered all of her specific prayer requests in two days time. WOW! It was way cool to hear her talk about how God answered her prayers and she's like "you know Heather, some people complain about how they just don't see God working or they don't see God show up in everyday life. It's because they don't ask Him to." She went on to talk about how if you pray for something on general terms ("Dear God, please let me have a good day"), you won't necessarily notice God. But if you pray for something specific, you will get a definite answer. Granted, it may not be the answer you wanted but an answer nonetheless. In my friend's case, had she just prayed to find a good church...well there are plenty of good churches around her area. If she finds one it could be an answer to prayer but again, it could just be chalked up to "not a big deal" scenerio. However, she prayed for things like wanted to feel like she was welcomed and belonged in that church the first time she attended, a chance to partake in a ministry involving the youth and their community, friends and a social network outside of work. God answered all those specific prayers within two days of her 2nd week Sunday there. She felt very welcomed and was invited to a BBQ by a family who knew she had just moved and didn't have family in town to celebrate the 4th of July. The next day the youth pastor called saying that one of the female leaders had to back out of a youth retreat and knew she was interested in helping with the youth group and wanted to know if she'd like to join their retreat. She made friends quickly and is very actively helping lead the youth group right now.

I guess the moral of this life story would be this: if you want to see God show up and do big things, you need to pray and ask God to do those big things. Then you'll be looking for it and when it happens (providing it's God's will in the first place), you'll see it and know God definitely showed up.