Patience? No thankyou.

I am not a patient person. Not in the slightest. I hate to cook. I don't have the patience for it. When I'm hungry, I want to eat now. I don't want to cook something that'll take longer than 15 minutes for it to be done. I'm hungry. I want food now. If I'm not hungry, I see no reason to start cooking anything. So there goes the whole "starting cooking dinner before you're hungry" argument. Doesn't work for me. When I'm driving, I tend to speed....alot. I want to get where I'm going quickly. I'm just not a patient person.

Unfortunately that goes with dating also. Granted, I haven't been in a relationship in over 5 years now and some would counter that as being very patient. Not so. It has been my experience that I tend to initiate and be "too available" when I find a guy I think I would like. I initiate way more than any girl should. Not sexually or anything. But I'll initiate convos, I'll even ask him out first. I'll stalk them on facebook and initiate the friend request. They may all seem like little things but I'm a firm believer in male chivalry. (can ya tell? haha). I'm kinda old fashion in that I believe the guy should pay and open doors and carry books and be the man. I just get too frustrated and bored waiting around for it to happen so I try to make it happen. And apparently that scares them away.

Another issue I have is that I don't like easing my way into things. It's like with cooking and driving. I want to eat it now. I want to get there now. I don't want to ease my way into it inch by inch. With dating, I don't want to do the whole lets be friends, and then lets maybe hang out outside of class/work with some other mutual friends. And then lets maybe go out on our own and then maybe we can go watch a movie at your place or at mine. Eventually we might hold hands and have our first kiss and slowly work our way into a very serious relationship. I know that's all good and the best way to do things and on some deep inner level I do want that progression but as a fleshy human being I want to be serious and talking about rings right now. I was talking to my roommate and she mentioned how some of her relatives get engaged very quickly. They meet, date for 3 months, get engaged and married a year later if not sooner. I'm like "yes! That's the way to go!" Obviously I know you need to have some kind of foundation friendship type relationship where you really get to know each other to even know if you're compatible and give yourself enough time to talk it over with God and other people about it first. I realize that is a very important step, even before two people start a dating relationship. I just want to have the secure knowledge of having a boyfriend who likes/loves me and wants to spend time with me and be with me. And as I continue to say, I want that now!

They say patience is a virtue. However, I will probably always be a very impatient person who would rather have ramon noodles over a steak only because it takes half as long to prepare. And I'm sure I haven't received my last speeding ticket yet. I'm working on it though. I'm only 21. I'm young. Plenty more living left to do. What's the rush, right?

I want to hurry it up so I can go ahead and settle down.